M-Momemts: 30 Days to Love Well

Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.
--1 Peter 2:12

To many in the West, Ramadan remains an enigma. But for those in the Muslim world, it is not just a minor observance; it is a vital annual rhythm that completely transforms public life. For one month, faithful Muslims fast (both food and water) from dawn to sunset as an act of worship, self-discipline, and obedience to God. This year, it started around February 18 and will likely end around March 19, concluding with Eid al-Fitr. For many, this Ramadan is unfolding against a backdrop of conflict, uncertainty, and concern for loved ones far from home.

In Muslim-majority societies, the effects are visible everywhere. Business hours adjust, schools modify schedules, restaurants close during the day, and the pace of daily life slows until evening. After sunset, cities come alive with family gatherings and shared meals. Here in Morocco, it is a celebration.

Same... Same... Different!

Religious holidays are not that much different in Christian cultures. I served as a pastor for three decades in the United States. Although our culture is becoming increasingly secular, many still embrace religious holidays such as Christmas. Programming changes on our televisions and radios. Decorations go up, meals are prepared, and special church services are planned. Most businesses close early on Christmas Eve and stay closed all day on Christmas. Travel becomes a mess as everyone seeks to “go home for the holidays”.

What I find most amazing is how many people manage to find their religion during this season. Back then, our Christmas services easily doubled, and in one year, attendance tripled. Everyone wore their best clothes and behaved their best. This was true at least at church… and in front of their mama. But it revealed a sad truth: many were Christian in name only and returned to their normal lives when the holiday passed.

But before we judge too harshly...

Respect Is Not Compromise

I suspect the same happens in Islam during Ramadan. Perhaps one reason for the "facade" of being religious in both cultures boils down to something positive: a measure of respect. Somewhere within the heart of decent people is a genuine desire to respect culture and relationships. At least on important matters, some are willing to change their lifestyles to respect others. I believe that such is a part of the image of God in each of us. Such is a good thing.

It is interesting to see how these kinds of religious events shape the diaspora. I am too often disappointed in North Africa by the lack of respect I see among the Western diaspora. (That includes tourists.) We are temporary residents in these countries. And whether someone is a Christian or an atheist, or some mix between the two, our hosts are Muslim. During this month of Ramadan, we are guests of those who are deeply engaged in a very significant religious season. If they are not eating in public, why should we? If they are dressed modestly, why shouldn’t we?

I took a walk this past Saturday, looking for examples of this. They were not hard to find. Common courtesy says that when you are in someone else’s home, you should show a bit of respect. One may argue that some of their restaurants are open. Yes, they are. That is a mix of commercial necessity and respect for non-muslims. You may argue that even Muslims are eating in the open or dressing in ways their mother would not approve. Yes, they are. But why should their disrespect become something we model? If the gospel is best transmitted in a relational context, then is respect not a critical component?

We Don't Get Off That Easy Back Home

Now let me go the other way. Muslims… in non-Islamic cultures like ours… still practice their faith. (Just like you do when you travel.) Fasting is still expected unless someone qualifies for recognized exemptions such as illness, travel, or pregnancy. And yet work in our culture continues. Schools do not adjust. Public life proceeds without accommodation. Diaspora Muslims fast through meetings, classrooms, and physical labor, then gather for prayer and meals after long days. Remember, they are not Christians... they are Muslim. Far from home, Ramadan becomes a personal marker of identity, observed fully even when the surrounding society barely notices.

Many of these Muslims, out of respect for our culture, minimize their public appearance of fasting. They understand that practicing their faith in public could draw ridicule. Christians of all people should understand that. And may our Lord forgive us if that disparagement comes from us! Our neighbors deserve better than that, and our Lord expects more of His people. Would it not be better for us to love our neighbors and to seek to build relational bridges with them during this season? The opportunities are certainly present.

How? I'm glad you asked!

Four Ways To Love Your Muslim Neighbor

First, show some respect. You do not have to affirm Islamic theology to honor a person’s desire to be faithful. They would not be observing Ramadan if it were not important to them. Remember, respect goes both ways. If you listen without judgment, they may do the same with you.

Second, embrace their isolation. In the same way that you become homesick when you cannot go home for Christmas, the same is true for them. And for some, this homesickness is compounded by real concern for family and friends facing instability back home. Don’t isolate them even more because their faith is different than yours. Such would not be our Lord’s pathway. Neither should it be yours. This is a great time to invite people into your home. Enjoy a meal together (after sunset)! Learn from one another. You might be amazed at how open people actually become when you care.

Third, exercise patience. Thirty days of fasting affects energy and temperament… as does the spiritual darkness of the season. Go the extra mile to love well. As we get towards the end of the month, go two or three extra miles. If you live in the Muslim world, stay out of the traffic! If you see someone struggling, pray for them. If possible and appropriate, offer to help.

Fourth, be intentional. Pray for your neighbors. Encourage them. Serve them. Ramadan often adds financial and social strain in diaspora settings. Simple acts of kindness can open meaningful relational doors.

Years ago, in Denver, a young adult class in our church decided to adopt an African restaurant in their neighborhood… owned by a Muslim family. The class simply built a connection through regular meals and gracious interactions. After Ramadan that year, the owner thanked them. Normally, he would have to close during the month, which always hurt his finances. Their consistent patronage helped him keep the doors open and pay the rent. They had not set out to make a statement… they had simply loved their neighbor. Yet the testimony was unmistakable.

Peter Was On To Something

Things are always easier when we are at home. Christmas, for those in the West, is one of those holidays. But it just stinks when you are far away. We even write songs and make movies about that feeling! Can we agree that this is not the time for someone to try to convince us that we attend the wrong church, our theology is wrong, that home is not important, or that Santa Claus is not real?

You don’t want to be treated that way. Neither does your Muslim neighbor!

Of course, the theological claims behind these seasons are profoundly different. But remember, there is nothing about Ramadan that threatens who we are in Christ. As servants of our Lord, we are to love our neighbors as they are. Remember, we are the ones who say that a relationship with God is more important than religious duty. Most in this world do not understand that. Some even slander us for it. Such was true in Peter's day.

What if we chose not to slander back? What if we responded with love and compassion? Could it be that as a Muslim world views our response, that our Christ-likeness may draw them closer to God... perhaps even into a more genuine relationship with Him?

Let's not miss the opportunity.